So... the visit to Anuradhapura started by me telling Jonathan that I had to pay $25 to enter Pollonaruwa and him saying that I was wro...

Anuradhapura

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 So... the visit to Anuradhapura started by me telling Jonathan that I had to pay $25 to enter Pollonaruwa and him saying that I was wrong and that pretty much only stupid people pay the fees. I said that before there were ways to avoid paying the fees but not anymore and since all the entrance fees were so high I had only picked to visit Pollonaruwa. He took this information as a challenge and told me he would show me that I didn’t have to pay.


 The road trip down to Colombo worked perfectly to stop by Anuradhapura.  So one morning there I was at 7am in his motorbike on my way to the ancient city of Anuradhapura. We drove for about 40 mins and we finally arrived. By then I was already annoyed with him because he had been telling me to guide him from the back of the bike so I had put the address on google maps and was doing my part on telling him when to turn but every time (this whole trip) I told him to turn left or right he would stop and get his ipad out and double check if he had to turn. Why did he ask for help when he would stop and check it himself?!?! He even asked me “Are you using google maps?” I really badly wanted to say “No, stupid you, I am using smoke signals to guide us!” but I responded “Yes! Google maps!” (and rolled my eyes)… It took a lot of deep breaths not to get his ipad and break it on his head! I couldn't help but wonder "Is this how women are treated when the male thinks he is the one in charge? Is he dismissing everything I say because he thinks I can't do something as simple as to repeat the instructions the voice from google maps is saying?" I didn't like this feeling.

Anyway, once we reached Anuradhapura I told him to go left, he went right and then he stopped (of course!) and he stopped in front of a security guy who told him we needed to go to the museum to get a ticket but he said no and kept on driving. I started to feel unwell and told him "You see, I need a ticket"... innocent me thought he would agree and we would move on but no... that didn't happen. He continues driving and the security guy started screaming that I needed a ticket so he turned around and we went left where I originally had said… we encountered no checkpoints.

Our first stop was Ruwanwelisaya, a huge white stupa. He parked his motorbike on the side of the stupa and we walked through what looked like a construction site.






Tons of people wearing white, carrying lotus and other flowers, and walking around from altar to altar presenting flowers to Buddha and praying. It was beautiful to see!





Monk praying at the bottom of the stupa.

All the people praying

Monkeys likes flowers


Naughty naughty monkey eating the flowers for Buddha



After the big white stupa we walked over to Jaya Sri Maha Bodhi, a big Bodhi tree surrounded by images and statues of Buddha. Jonathan said we should walk around, I said I didn't want to go in, I said I didn't have to go in, still he walked around... I followed, he said we could enter through the back where they were doing construction, I told him I wouldn't plus there was a barrier that said not an entrance... Why would anybody enter through the back? That's not who I am. At the end it turned out that there was no entrance fee so I went in.

 Before you enter any temple or place of worship people have to take their shoes off; some places charge you to store them but most people decide to leave them all over the entrance.


The Boddhi tree


So colorful and pretty!

Next stop was Jethavan stupa, a huge brown stupa just to the side of the road. There we met a couple traveling and they asked if there was an entrance fee since they hadn't pay anything. Ok, that made me feel a little better.




We went back on the motorbike and this time some of the security people started asking for us to stop but of course we ignored them and kept going. At this point I was feeling sick, I am not the kind of person who doesn’t pay to get into places. I am not the kind of sneeky person who enters through the back of temples in order not to pay a fee… It is just not me. I told Jonathan I didn’t want to see any more temples, I told him I needed to pay and if I wasn’t I didn’t want to see the temples. He didn’t take no for an answer. I was already a nervous wreck and kept insisting on going back and not needing to see anything else. He didn’t care about what I felt or thought! I felt powerless, I felt like I didn't have a choice. The Andrea that never gives up, the one that fights for her rights and the rights of other was in the back of somebody's bike without a voice. I felt choice less because even after saying what I wanted I wasn't being listened to, my feelings didn't matter, I felt this was abusive and demeaning.

After he skipped another security point he stopped in front of a store and I made it really clear that I just wanted to go, so he said “guide me" but drove us to another site instead! This whole thing wasn’t really sitting right with me! I have the money! I have saved for this trip! I can pay an entrance fee if I wanted to. I probably should have paid the entrance fee but he wouldn't listen. 
We then stopped at yet another site without my consent and asked me to get off. 







I walked around, he got questioned and then he called me on the phone and said that the security had questioned him and that we needed to leave. I walked towards where he was and got on the bike and a security guy came on a bike and questioned us, asked me for my ticket and I felt horrible by saying "Do I need a ticket?" but what was I supposed to do? Was i supposed to say "Listen office, this guy over here won't listen to me when I ask him to leave and go home or he refuses to let me get a ticket!?!?"

  To be honest I agreed with the security, I should have had a ticket, I should had paid, but Jonathan wouldn’t listen! When the security was trying to talk Jonathan was so dismissive of him, he kept looking at his ipad and had the actitude of "I don't give a F about you" I felt like Jonathan thought he was above this guy, therefore he didn't have to look him in the eye or even acknowledge his presence.

 What made me even madder was the fact that he never acknowledged that what he (what we) were doing was wrong! 

The security followed us and I think he even took a picture of us. I hoped that Jonathan got the memo that we needed to leave so once again I asked to leave and he said “guide me”, I put the route on google maps but of course he didn’t follow it! I really wanted to strangle him!

We went to another temple! This one I had told him I wanted to go to but was not part of the paid ticket. By the time we got there I had told him I didn't want to see it anymore, I was over the temples and over this stupid guy who wouldn’t listen!


Lying Buddha




For me the worst part of it all was that he is Sri Lankan, he didn't have to pay! The only one who had to pay was me but why wouldn't he listen to me! Did he think he was doing me a favor? The only thing he was doing was giving me an ulcer!
And I do understand that there are different kinds of traveler and he might be the dirt cheap one, the one that would take advantage of any situation but I am not. I am a firm believer of being honest, that honesty is ALWAYS the best policy. I always give back change if I was given more, I always pay for what I get, I always tell the truth. By being an honest person I have been able to keep jobs, to earn people’s trust, and to feel good about myself. I am also a firm believer that everything that you do will get back to you, if you are dishonest (even with an entrance fee) you will attract dishonesty to your life! 

after 4 hours we finally stopped for lunch and guess what he was doing? Looking at his ipad to see what other temples we could see… I had had enough of this guy not listening to my feelings and my concerns, I then made it clear that I was not, absolutely not going to go to any temples and that maybe not paying was ok with him but not with me and that I just wanted TO LEAVE!!! (By then I was fuming and had I very serious B***** face on!)

We then finally left Anuradhapura and went back to our homestay.

That afternoon the guys running the homestay took me to the bathing lake (I would absolutely not, never in my life bathe in there) I walked around, and took pictures of the boats and the guys fishing while they bathed.





The bathing lake


In the afternoon I went back to the local lady who made dinner for us and had some tea and home made snacks.


That night I went to bed exhausted, I think the stress of Anuradhapura had taken a toll on me. Since we were sharing a bed I had put a sarong and made that MY part of the bed (probably ⅓ of the bed) just to make it clear which side was whose. 
I am a big boundaries person, I keep to myself, I don’t share much about myself with others, I don’t like others in my space, I don’t like people close to me, I don’t like people touching me, and I definitely do not give the vibe that invading my personal space is ok. 

 Somehow I ended up with this dude sleeping way too close to me! I was sleeping with a blanket on top of me covering from my head to my toes on my side with my legs folded and arms out of the bed, using probably 10 inches of the bed. As I was sleeping he touched my head, and my arm… I hate being touched! Why would anybody touch somebody without permission? I almost fell out of the bed moving away from him.
I was still sleeping… and he did it again, I moved almost closer to the floor. And then... again and this time he touched my hip!!!!! WTF? Half asleep I said “You are in my sarong!!!” he said “What?” I repeated in an angry voice “You are in my sarong… I need MY SPACE!” He moved away and left me alone… only 17 more hours until I am at the airport!

 The last couple of hours were... very silent... I wanted to run away but I literally was in a village in the middle of nowhere and didn't know how to get to the airport 4 hours away. 

 I have been traveling for 5 months and I have met so many guys and I can say that I probably have spent more days doing activities with males than females and never ever had a guy disrespect me, touch me, dismiss my feelings or ignored my requests. I couldn't help but think "Is it because he is Sri Lankan? Is it a 3rd world thinking? Do they think that a 'no' is just a 'not yet', is it education?" Whatever it is/was it wasn't cool and it made me sad to see that somebody would not respect me, probably because I'm a female.

 I get that traveling has a lot to do with experiencing the culture with the locals but I think this was a little bit too much for me. On the way down to Colombo he rode the bike super fast and I kept praying to get to the airport in one piece. Before the airport we stopped by Negombo where Jonathan's family was getting together for a wedding so I spent my last sunset at the beach, giving thanks to Sri Lanka for opening its doors and keeping me safe... But I was ready to leave, I wasn't as excited about Sri Lanka anymore, I just wanted to go!
Last Sri Lankan sunset <3



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About Post Author

Hi! It's me... Andrea! In 2016 I decided to drop everything and take a year to enrich my life and travel around the world. It turns out the world is just too big for 12 months! Still on the road and sharing my experience as a solo female traveler around the globe!

2 comments:

  1. UnknownJanuary 31, 2017 at 4:40 PM

    Ugh, I'm sorry you went through this. I can't imagine how helpless you felt, it made me so angry just thinking about it. ��

    ReplyDelete
  2. AndreaFebruary 1, 2017 at 6:32 AM

    I know... It was very uncomfortable! Good thing it was all good at the end :)

    ReplyDelete

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Hi! It's me... Andrea!

In this blog you can live vicariously through my journey around the world!

Please feel free to share tips or places to go!
Contact me: andreaheartstraveling@gmail.com